Contentment, Happiness or Joy

“Find that which is full of life, vibrant,

and joyful;

it is there you will realize happiness.”

--- Kenneth D. Foster

When was the last time you felt real joy, that tingle of pure delight? Bigger than contentment, more intense than happiness, it’s a feeling so vast it could almost swallows you up. However fleeting, joy is the ultimate expression of gratitude and appreciation of life. It’s what fills you up, bursts you out of yourself, connecting you to something larger than yourself. It fills you with a life giving force that leaves you overwhelmed with the most incredible awe.

“All the dancing I’ve done has been alone in the veld, when I’ve jumped in the air and thrown up my arms and shouted with the mere joy of living.”

--- Olive Schreiner

As a coach or councillor, it’s a privilege to help lift a person's spirit. Counselling others can be quite draining and it can also be extremely exhilarating. There’s nothing that gives me greater joy than having a client report even the slightest improvement in their situation, or as I was told this morning, “I never thought of it that way,” and “I finally understand I’m responsible for my own happiness”. It’s so amazing to witness a client realize they are a person in the process of evolving, that they are an ongoing masterpiece growing richer and fuller with each dab of paint. Here’s the epiphany: Joy isn’t waiting for the painting to be finished; Joy is in every stroke of the brush.

The real work of our lives is never complete; the very nature of our existence involves the privilege to evolve and grow. If we can just put our faith in the process of growth, surrender to it and enjoy it, we can save ourselves so much anxiety and we’ll always end up exactly as we should. The greatest joy lies not in simply being but in becoming.

"Faith is the confidence, the assurance, the enforcing truth, the knowing..."

--- Robert Collier

Teachers have a difficult task put to them to bring our children into the world with wisdom, but sometimes the roll is reversed and the child brings the teacher wisdom.

When my daughter was small, before starting school, she attended a preschool, or crèche. Each morning the children were gathered together for ‘Show and Tell’, where they each got to relate something that they felt was important that had happened to them or someone in their family. Often the teachers would relate these stories to the parents if they thought it necessary, informative or pertinent.

There were a number of children who came from ‘difficult’ home situations and one morning the teachers noticed that one little girl sitting in the far corner of the room, a child who was often too quiet and passive, Megan was visibly upset about something. Not wanting to pry too deeply, but needing to lift the child’s spirits, they put a general question to the children, “Does your mommy and daddy ever get upset with you, and then you don’t feel happy?” A number of the children responded, calling out or waving their hands in the air, but this little girl in particular started to weep quietly in her corner. Encouraging Megan to come forward for a bit of consoling, the teacher then asked the children what they did to get over being sad. A little voice piped up, “I like to think happy thoughts, then things just get better. The ugliness and sadness go away.” What amazing wisdom from a small child.

“Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don’t.”

--- Melody Beattie

When things don’t go our way, it’s so much easier to focus on what we don’t have, rather than the blessings in our lives. We speculate on what’s missing, the dreams we have never fulfilled or the wrong we perceive in life. We use all that energy that could be put to better purpose focused on introspection to help us grow, improve, develop and evolve into the masterpiece we are to be. To be happy, we need to concentrate on happy thoughts, to direct our mind by asking empowering questions:

· “What is limiting my happiness?”

· “What has happened that has robbed me of my joy?”

· “What do I need to do to be happy in this moment?”

· “How can I create happiness in my life?”

"...To seek out your own inner peace is the greatest gift you could ever hope to give to this world."

--- Eric Walton

By answering questions of this sort we find a path that leads us back to joy. However, we need to be aware that we may have constructed stumbling blocks to our own happiness. We may have festering attitudes toward our expectations in life. Perhaps our childhood wasn’t the best, or we have been exposed to poor conditions, neglect, violence or abuse. But, no matter how traumatic, it is possible to turn these things around and learn from them. Every experience in life drives us toward growth. Growth that is as important to our existence as food and water. Every experience brings a lesson to be learnt. The lessons may be unpleasant and the ‘lesson-givers’ may leave dark imprints on our hearts, but just as we should not kill the messenger, so we should learn to be able to forgive the ‘lesson-giver’ for they are nought but a messenger in the big scheme of things. Furthermore, if you ignore the lesson demonstrated, it’s likely to recur, perhaps in a different package, until we acknowledge it and gather the pearls of wisdom it bears. There is a part of each one of us that is longing to understand and move past the wounds, no matter how deep. Once the lesson our experiences hold is realized, and ascertained, we are not only able to move on to the next lesson, we are also able to again tap into the unending happiness that lies within our own consciousness.

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Medical science has made great inroads in the last decade in the effort to try and explain consciousness, from a scientific viewpoint. What they have found is near miraculous. Previously it was thought that a brain, for instance, had so many nerve cells, which were there for life and they were not replaced throughout our span of years. What they have found though is that nerve cells are being created all the time and old nerve cells are replaced, just as are other cells of the body. It has also been found that nerve cells in the brain have memory and are communication with each other all the time, not only with electrical communication, but also with chemicals and other means. However, it’s been found that not only nerve cells communicate; all the cells of your body have memory and communicate with each other within a group of cells or an organ. It’s the breakdown of this communication between cells that may lead to disease, or even to cancer.

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How does this cell memory affect us in the case of happiness and joy? The cell memory enables the cell to respond to mood. The vital life force in the cell adjusts to your positive or negative attitudes and moods, aligning with your thoughts. When you are happy, the cells flow with energy, giving vitality back to your mood. However, when you are worried or stressed, the energy slows down and you become depressed. If you are consistently put under pressure, experiencing a joyless life, it’s possible for a person to develop visible consequences, like the greying of the hair. Other effects may not be so visible, as in the restriction of blood flow due to cardiac stress.

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“Fly away my heart; don’t despair. The world is full of joy; You cry, you smile then you dance.”

--- Judith Sephuma

We need to asses ourselves in different areas of our lives and ascertain where we are truly happy and where we are not so we can make changes and improve our existence. You choose what you focus on: the problem or the solution. Far too often most people, feeling victimised, focus on the problem. However, if you envisage the problem as being a challenge and direct your attention on the solution, you take one a cloak of empowerment.

"Most people aren't really happy, but they aren't unhappy enough to do anything about it."

---Tony Robbins

Happiness is like an iceberg; only the tip is visible above the surface of your being as most of it is internal. You can put on a happy face, but be miserable within. This is not true happiness. However, if you fill yourself up with the abundant joy of thoughts filled with happiness deep within your heart, you are on your way to genuine bliss. It is not possible to create permanent happiness with anything external. All the ‘stuff’ in the world will not bring you joy in the long run. That fancy car you’ve always wanted; it’s just a machine, it has not life force to bring you the energy you require to produce joy. It may make you happy for a while, but the kind of happiness it creates is fleeting; it fades fast. Then you will think you need something else to bring you happiness. This kind of thinking is hollow and unproductive.

“True happiness arises in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self.”

--- Joseph Addison

So, we need to learn to create happiness from within to truly be content with life. We need to know ourselves more intimately, expecting to live joyously and asking ourselves enlightened questions of what really brings us happiness. By concentrating on what brings us lasting happiness, our joy will be inflated beyond the boundaries of our minds and bodies, spreading the energy of pleasure and enjoyment of life in a force of energy to those around us. It's amazing what a catalyst a little bit of joy can be. So many of us need an external catalyst to set us on the road to happiness, but once encouraged, we need to work at being happy. We cannot expect someone else to continually be there make us happy.

I remember a children’s’ song that went, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” I interpret that to suggest: “If you're happy and you know it, tell your face.”

Letting happiness show makes all the difference. Try walking down the street and smiling at passersby. Those you ‘touch’ with your exhilaration will walk on smiling too; it’s contagious, like a domino effect. If you can believe in your happiness for a moment, just one moment, and believe that it could be even remotely possible to live the life you have always dreamed of, filled with joy and contentment, wouldn’t it be worth it to make the effort and accept happiness as a given. Moreover, your 'joy well' isn't in danger of drying up or being depleted because you use some joy; someone else having a lot of joy doesn't mean there is less for you and giving some away is not going to leave you depleted. Joy isn't a finite commodity. You can have as much as you wish and still have plenty to share or give away.

Perhaps, most importantly, we shouldn’t settle just for contentment, neither should we settle for mere happiness. Rather, we should reach out and grasp the joy that is our due, for great enjoyment in life is our right and we should never settle for less. That joy comes from the capacity to fell deeply, to express our emotions to the fullest and to simply enjoy everything in life. Enjoyment in life comes from being able to think freely, from taking risks and winning, and from being needed. Those who have an abundance of joy are people who prioritise looking for joy, seeking it out not in others or their surroundings, but in themselves first. Enjoy, just enjoy and spread a little joy today, then watch it come pouring back again!

“Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?”

---Rose Kennedy

You Are The Dream

“Feeling good about who you are and what you’re here on earth to do;

that’s the real work of your life, and it’s ongoing.

Each of us arrives with all we need to feel valued and unique,

but slowly that gets chipped away.”

--- Oprah Winfrey

Over the course of the years in dealing with so many of my clients I have come to acknowledge a prevalent theme in human nature: every person in existence is seeking validation. Although we are born with the impression of entirety, of wholeness, when we begin to interact with the world, our experiences tend to attack and erode our wholeness, rather than build on them. Hardly anyone develops into adulthood unscathed. That appears to be the nature of the human condition.

The events that pursue our lives can change who we think we are. Abuse, violence, abandonment, neglect, rejection, domination, control, manipulation, criticism, denial, dismissal, desertion; all these and others diminish our expectations, lowering our self-esteem, until we start to believe that we are not worthy of this life. Before we are even aware of our situation, we begin to believe that inner voice that is saying, “You’re useless.”

We begin to ask ourselves, “Why am I worthless?” or “How can be worthy?” What you ought to believe is that worthiness is your birthright. You don't have to earn it. It’s your most treasured possession: a deep seated belief that you have worth. So believe it.

"The greatest expression of freedom is being recognised for one's value."

--- Vusamazulu Credo Mutwa, South African philosopher and songoma

The very miracle of your existence calls for celebration, for honour and respect, but the real wonder in distinguishing self-worth lies within each one of us. Realising your own value sets you free. You don’t need to try and convince yourself, or the world at large, by being smart or nice. You don’t need to attract attention to yourself, to have the affection or love of others just to be worthy of being. There is nothing you need to do, say, think or be that will make you any more worthy than you were created to begin with.

We are each authentically empowered, splendidly blessed with gifts and talents, which the world is just waiting for us to unveil. Each of us is responsible for recreating who we believe ourselves to be, and that responsibility is not a burden, but a privilege. It may not be easy, but it's exciting and if you are willing to try and work on it, ultimately you will be in full possession of yourself, someone with the courage to define and then become the person you are meant to be. But it takes releasing your own special empowerment, your own gifts and talents that are yours to employ in this life.

"You yourself are your own little universe;

you have within you the sun, the moon and even the stars."

--- Leviticum Homilae, philosopher

So, what are you waiting for? You’ll never know what you can do unless you try. Put what is past behind you and work on your gifts and talents, for in these lie your worth. Get on with sharing what you have with the world, with revealing your worth, and stop comparing yourself to others who you think are greater than you, or have more ‘stuff’ than you do. A person’s possessions do not make them. What’s inside them is what makes them. What’s inside you is what makes you. Be valuable to yourself.

Some of the most successful people in the world are those who had little self-esteem to begin with. That’s what drove them to make themselves successful in the first place. Real self-esteem is less about confidence or poise, and more about calm, unaffected acceptance that you like who you are. Other peoples’ opinions are about them, and not you.

"Real self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms, by knowing where you stand and refusing to abide by the judgements of others. There will always be people trying to 'level' you or bring you down. Rather than conform to their ideas of what you should be, you can make the choice to show them who you really are."

--- Oprah Winfrey

Self-esteem is something you have to dig out of the grave that your conditioning has buried it in, but resurrection is not enough. You have to nurture it and work on it all the days of your life. You can surround yourself with great inspiring people, but ultimately it’s YOU you have to love and forgive to build yourself into full esteem.

It’s not about judging yourself too harshly; it’s about knowing that, whatever you do, if you do the best you can, you can find happiness. It’s about the value you bring to the world, being content with that. However, it’s a work in progress, not something that happens over night, and you’re going to have good days and bad days. Make the most of them.

The fact that you are here matters. Even if you haven’t worked out what your purpose in life is, you still matter in the great scheme of things. Your dreams are important. Be ready to live them, to go beyond them. In reality, "You are the dream."

Embark Upon the Most Innovative Adventure of Your Life

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. You might ask yourself, 'Who am I to be intelligent, beautiful, strong, remarkable or talented?' I would, in turn, ask you, ‘Who are you NOT to be intelligent, beautiful, strong, remarkable or talented?’ You are a child of the Universe and your playing insignificant does not serve the world you have been created to enhance.

"The beauty in you is your spirit.

The strength in you is your endurance.

The intelligence in you is your vastness."

--- Yogi Bhajan

Join me as I embark upon an innovative adventure to transform my life and inspire others on my way. In doing so you are likely to undergo an immense change in your attitude and perspective to life. You will find yourself on an innovative adventure where you experience a profound transformation in the reality that is your life. On my journey I’m looking to produce, exhibit and impart to you intelligent, significant and practical ways to create anything you may need or desire. What I have to share with you are timeless tenets for success based on proven psychological principles and what might appear to some to be supernatural approaches to life.

Do these principles and procedures work? I'm not going to question your intelligence by expecting you to believe me if I tell you that they do work; I can tell you about them but I’d rather that you tried them for yourself. Use these techniques and principles and experience the only influential substantiation there can be for you, the proof of your own results.

If you are reading this, you are probably one of those people who enthusiastically buy personal development books and programs or who go to seminars that are meant to enhance your performance or change your life. Well, that’s great. However you may have had the experience of being all excited after a seminar or intensely moved when reading a book that tells you how to have a great life, you may even make some fantastic changes to your lifestyle, but the changes turn out to only be temporary and after a few days, or maybe even a few weeks, you are right back where you started from.

Why? The probability is that these books, programs or seminars only touched on a part of the process of change and did not demonstrate the methods for creating permanent or lasting change. The techniques you have learnt may well be effective, but only part of the picture. I would equate learning one or two techniques for change as adding a flavoursome stock to a burnt stew in the hope of saving the whole dish. It doesn’t matter how flavoursome the stock you might add, you will still have a burnt stew. Whereas the flavoursome stock is our newly learnt positive thinking, for example, the burnt stew is our previously developed beliefs that keep us from producing great results. Until we can overcome and alter our unworkable beliefs, we will go on producing poor results. In some ways, we have to start from scratch and make ourselves over completely to be able to produce the positive results we seek.

So, how can take your ideas and dreams and turn them into reality? I aspire to share with you the proven formula I have found that will produce the results you desire. It will require commitment on your part to follow the lessons I have to impart, but it will be worth your while in the end. It is a great privilege to deliver these ideas and, although it may seem you have heard them before, used the right way they are powerful beyond measure. Join me now on our journey together to success.

" Action is the beginning of accomplishment.

Without it, you have only wasted dreams and good intentions."

--- Chris Widener

Why Stepping Stones

It was some 16 years ago that I found myself at a crossroads in life. I was dreadfully unhappy, with my life, my work, with what life was delivering; I had lost my way and really had now idea where I was heading. One thing I did know was that the path I had been walking was not the one I was intended to walk for the rest of my life. I was determined that there had to be something better, and it was waiting just around the corner; I just had to find out what it was.

"Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next."

--- Jonas Salk

I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do but I had an idea. The same things kept popping up in my life. Surely I should take note of them; they must have been cropping up for a reason. There was also a little voice in my head, which I knew I should listen to; so often it wasn't just right, it was spot on! I was optimistic, in fact convinced, I was now on the right track.

"First comes thought, then organisation of that thought into ideas and plans,

then transformation of those plans into reality.

The beginning, as you will observe, is your imagination."

--- Napoleon Hill

Feeling quite excited about my idea, I wrote it down. I was specific about what it was and it's purpose, but I had no idea about how to put it into action. My plan only went as far as my need and my intent, but I guess that was a start.

‎"We discover our life purpose for our own betterment and clarity.

We live our life purpose for the betterment of others.

Knowing your purpose answers many of life's tough questions.

Living your purpose answers the rest of them."

--- Bruce Brown

Did the Universe supply? You bet it did! However I never anticipated that the delivery would come from the direction it arrived from. My husband found something amazing we could do together and changes began to happen for our benefit and for the benefit of so many other people. There was no turning back. We were well on our way to a new life.

"We can change our lives.

We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish."

---Tony Robbins

Within a very short space of time, I found myself spinning into a completely new world. I was meeting new and awesome people, learning so many amazing new things, and earning a sizable income. I was living my dream and it was all so exciting. There had to be a catch to it somehow.

"Be willing to be uncomfortable.

Be comfortable being uncomfortable.

It may get tough,

but it's a small price to pay for living a dream."

--- Peter Mc Williams

The dream was slightly marred when I learnt a number of things about myself that were quite uncomfortable. One of them was I was proud and my pride was a stumbling block. However stumbling blocks are only stepping stones in disguise. I learnt to open my heart to the changes that were taking place in my life, but at the same time, to hold onto the good values that I had grown up with and dispensed with the values that were not so acceptable or beneficial.

"You have to be confident in your ability,

and then be tough enough to follow through."

--- Rosalynn Carter

I was growing so fast, almost too fast, but I was confident that I could make my new life work. In the process of adapting to all the new experiences that were taking place around me I learnt that the success of life was not dictated by how wealthy you are or how much 'stuff' you possess, but by the amount of JOY you experience in the performance of your day to day living. Money and possessions make things a little easier, but they are not what makes a person happy. What I discovered was that I had spent so much time earning a living from need and insecurity, but now I was able to earn from following my highest joy, and I was loving it!

"Success is not to be pursued;

it is to be attracted by the person you become."

--- Jim Rohn

I had to accomplish many new steps, absorb an array of new tactics, and overcome plenty of hang-ups to get to where I am today. I found great value in cleaning out the cobwebs of the past, completing old business, and clearing the decks to allow my new life to flourish. It wasn't an easy path to walk, but the stepping stones across the river of life, which I aspire to share with you, are ancient, stable and worthy of repeating. Sometimes the river of life may only be a trickle, other times it may be a raging flood, but the stepping stones I wish to share with you are seasoned with the truth of the Laws of Life. I hope that you will join me and enjoy the journey.

"Never let what you cannot do stop you from doing what you can do."

--- Stephen Pierce