You Are The Dream

“Feeling good about who you are and what you’re here on earth to do;

that’s the real work of your life, and it’s ongoing.

Each of us arrives with all we need to feel valued and unique,

but slowly that gets chipped away.”

--- Oprah Winfrey

Over the course of the years in dealing with so many of my clients I have come to acknowledge a prevalent theme in human nature: every person in existence is seeking validation. Although we are born with the impression of entirety, of wholeness, when we begin to interact with the world, our experiences tend to attack and erode our wholeness, rather than build on them. Hardly anyone develops into adulthood unscathed. That appears to be the nature of the human condition.

The events that pursue our lives can change who we think we are. Abuse, violence, abandonment, neglect, rejection, domination, control, manipulation, criticism, denial, dismissal, desertion; all these and others diminish our expectations, lowering our self-esteem, until we start to believe that we are not worthy of this life. Before we are even aware of our situation, we begin to believe that inner voice that is saying, “You’re useless.”

We begin to ask ourselves, “Why am I worthless?” or “How can be worthy?” What you ought to believe is that worthiness is your birthright. You don't have to earn it. It’s your most treasured possession: a deep seated belief that you have worth. So believe it.

"The greatest expression of freedom is being recognised for one's value."

--- Vusamazulu Credo Mutwa, South African philosopher and songoma

The very miracle of your existence calls for celebration, for honour and respect, but the real wonder in distinguishing self-worth lies within each one of us. Realising your own value sets you free. You don’t need to try and convince yourself, or the world at large, by being smart or nice. You don’t need to attract attention to yourself, to have the affection or love of others just to be worthy of being. There is nothing you need to do, say, think or be that will make you any more worthy than you were created to begin with.

We are each authentically empowered, splendidly blessed with gifts and talents, which the world is just waiting for us to unveil. Each of us is responsible for recreating who we believe ourselves to be, and that responsibility is not a burden, but a privilege. It may not be easy, but it's exciting and if you are willing to try and work on it, ultimately you will be in full possession of yourself, someone with the courage to define and then become the person you are meant to be. But it takes releasing your own special empowerment, your own gifts and talents that are yours to employ in this life.

"You yourself are your own little universe;

you have within you the sun, the moon and even the stars."

--- Leviticum Homilae, philosopher

So, what are you waiting for? You’ll never know what you can do unless you try. Put what is past behind you and work on your gifts and talents, for in these lie your worth. Get on with sharing what you have with the world, with revealing your worth, and stop comparing yourself to others who you think are greater than you, or have more ‘stuff’ than you do. A person’s possessions do not make them. What’s inside them is what makes them. What’s inside you is what makes you. Be valuable to yourself.

Some of the most successful people in the world are those who had little self-esteem to begin with. That’s what drove them to make themselves successful in the first place. Real self-esteem is less about confidence or poise, and more about calm, unaffected acceptance that you like who you are. Other peoples’ opinions are about them, and not you.

"Real self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms, by knowing where you stand and refusing to abide by the judgements of others. There will always be people trying to 'level' you or bring you down. Rather than conform to their ideas of what you should be, you can make the choice to show them who you really are."

--- Oprah Winfrey

Self-esteem is something you have to dig out of the grave that your conditioning has buried it in, but resurrection is not enough. You have to nurture it and work on it all the days of your life. You can surround yourself with great inspiring people, but ultimately it’s YOU you have to love and forgive to build yourself into full esteem.

It’s not about judging yourself too harshly; it’s about knowing that, whatever you do, if you do the best you can, you can find happiness. It’s about the value you bring to the world, being content with that. However, it’s a work in progress, not something that happens over night, and you’re going to have good days and bad days. Make the most of them.

The fact that you are here matters. Even if you haven’t worked out what your purpose in life is, you still matter in the great scheme of things. Your dreams are important. Be ready to live them, to go beyond them. In reality, "You are the dream."